JETS IN MY LIFE

2002-10-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

i hate you. no. i don't. i love you. no i don't. it's too confusing. this thing. called love. it is tearing me. apart. i don't know. what to do. with myself. anymore. are you even there. i doubt it. i'm hardly here. so why would you be. why can't you answer me. oh that's right. because you don't know. that i'm here. will you ever. i doubt it. i can't stand the thought. of you. not being here. with me. but then again. you're not. and you never will be. because it's not okay. but you can't understand that. because you don't know. and you will never. know. you're driving me insane. mad. do you even see me. here. wanting you. needing you. i doubt it. i doubt it. will you ever see. what you mean. to me. yet i hardly know. you. we just met. but my heart longs for you. it beats. for you. i sweat. for you. i tremble. for you. i live. for you. no that's not true. we just met. i can't feel that way. it's not right. you're not right. nothing's right. and it will never be. because you don't know. who i am. yet i know you. everything about you. because you haunt. my dreams. at night. with your power. your talent. your love. your beauty. your soul. your voice. your words. your lips. your eyes. you. you. you. i want. you

2002-10-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

i'm literally trembling. shaking. at the moment. what is this. that you're doing to me. it's unreal. surreal. in fact. so i guess that's what it means. just everything that's surreal. what a concept. this. that you're doing to me. i've never felt like this before. actually. that's not true. it's happened. but not like this. not to this extreme. butterflies. in my stomach. you wouldn't understand. because after all. you don't know. and that hurts. why can't you be like me. like me. yes. that's what i want. i want you. to hold me. forever.

2002-10-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

let me sleep. for when i sleep. i dream of you. that's where i'm going now. to see you. i hope you're there. please find me. because i can't stop looking for you. where are you. are you there. please be there. sweet dreams.

2002-10-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

love hurts. please keep me warm. i need you. you own me. but you don't know me. and that's a problem. for me. because i can't live. without you. but you don't know. and that's a problem. it's cold without you here. please hold me. i can't go on. without looking at your face. each day. i gaze in your eyes. without you knowing. don't know. you will never know. and that's a problem.